theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
