I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize