We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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