I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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