I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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