would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
handjob tips. give me some.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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