you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
someone get that fucking seahorse.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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