You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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