Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
