I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
