kristin has been a bad kristin
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
