you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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