She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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