Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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