Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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