Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
