Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what day is it and did you see me today?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
