Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
