so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
