that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
