...so i touched it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
