K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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