I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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