Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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