Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize