The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
