i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
