You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
