It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
