I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
