I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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