stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
