hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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