I love black thongs
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
