Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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