Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
