oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
