Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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