Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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