If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
