I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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