she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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