Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize