Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
