SEEEEXXX PLEASE
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
