It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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