i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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