hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
