I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
