People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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