I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
