I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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