I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
