She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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