I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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