Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
