But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Holy sore nipples Batman
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize