fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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