I bet he comes in French.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize