dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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